Not me..

I know.. I lost you eons ago

Or we lost each other

We took our own paths

No, in fact it was me.. just me

Who decided to go alone

On my own

It was because.. I had a path

I just left

And vanished without even looking back

I left as though I was dried up

Of emotions, sentiments, friendship

True, there were no promises to keep

No dates to seek

But still, just walking out

Without leaving any message

Address or a phone number

It must have been

So shocking for you

So unbelievable even to think

That I could do that

I could ‘be’ that

But I hope you believed it soon enough

That.. that was ‘not‘ me

It just couldn’t be me

It would be best for me

Not to be ‘me’

For you

Couldn’t hear you

A little scared, unconfident and unsure

I managed to say,

‘I love you’

You turned away with nothing to say

Making me much more

Scared, unconfident and unsure

Just when I was confident

You bit the corner of your nail

It felt like beginning of a tale

Then you looked at me shyly

And said something rather softly

But confidently…

Till date I curse my heart

For beating so hard

That I couldn’t hear you at all.

I mean…

No I am not in touch with her

I mean regularly, no

Pensive? Who me? Huh

Well, I don’t tell lies

I do think about her

Sometimes, often

I mean on and off

Like when I am not busy in my work

Or not blogging,

Except may be right now

No, not all the time

Are you crazy or something?

Well she is on my mind

When there is nothing else

On my mind, I mean

You know, what I mean.. I hope

That is ridiculous

How can you say that

I am in love!

With her.. I mean

Just because she is on my mind

Don’t confuse things here, ok

Moreover even if I do love her

It is not what you think

I hope you know,

What I mean

Where were you?

Where were you for so long?

Why weren’t you here

With me

I have been so disturbed

Hurt and depressed

I needed you so bad

Needed you to hold my hand

Hold my face

Look in my eyes

Kiss my forehead

Move your fingers in my hair

I needed your shoulder

To rest my head on

Bury my face between your breasts

Yes, I know

In reality

This is just my imagination

But you could at least let me know…

That you are there.. Somewhere

Lamp of my life

Now that you are here

Things are looking up a bit

Seemingly brighter a bit

Perhaps you have added

Few days to my ending game

Fuel to my dying flame

Flame that was about to be

Covered with sheets of darkness

Or blown off by raging stress

Now that you are back

Life of my lamp is revamped

The strength is regained

To quell the darkness’ reign

The happiness beams

And spreads the light again

Don’t leave me

Is it okay to ask,

Don’t leave me again?

You see I am not even with you

You do whatever you want to do

In and around your world

I do not physically figure

You know I am not there

And I know you are not here

I am not intruding into your space or taking your time

Demanding your attention, respect, or love of any kind

I can’t even see, what you are doing

Who is with you or to whom are you talking

Having coffee, watching movies

Or just sharing your stories

I am not snooping

On your emails or your phone

Even then you never promised

Never to leave me again.

World and her story

Time is passing

So is life

Cross roads, hairpin bends,

Steep climbs, landmarks

All falling behind

I can see a path winding away

Far in the distance

Dissolving into nothingness

One end of which is under my feet

The other seems to be

At the end of my vision

After that… nothing

After that… nothing,

Would be wrong to say

After all, the rest of the world

Has to be there

Somewhere,

Beyond the end of the path

Beyond the end of my vision

Yes, the world made by man

Will cease to exist

But world untouched by man

Will still be there

In its full glory

Narrating it’s amazing story.

I will pass away

You too will be gone

Our sorrows would be wiped off

Smiles will fade leaving no mark

Storytellers will not be around

Listeners also would have passed

But the world will go on

Narrating her story on her own.

Alexander, Babar, Genghis Khan

Christ, Kabir and Krshn

Winners and vanquished

Killers and the killed

All dumped randomly

Unceremoniously

In the dark silence

Of a little old box

Not moving

Not speaking

Yet wearing the crown

With a bloody sword in hand

Not knowing their story is done.

In Love With Imagination

You are the one

In my thoughts

My vision

Perhaps, surely

You are a stranger certainly

But have always stayed inside me

Inside my mindscape

On my thought’s page

You may be something unsaid

But you are the poetry of my life

Silent movements of your lips

Are symphonies in my life

With my face on your bosom

I long for the comfort of your dark hair

And inhale the familiar fragrance

A figure emerges in my vision

Perhaps personification

Of a thought,

That has been around

For ever…

I remember

That dark part of the day

Tight grip of hands

But our looks away

Growing warmth and sweat

Hearts that beat together

Were to separate

This had to happen

I was in love with someone

Created by my Imagination

I think…

Theater of Life

What am I to say

What am I to do

Whether I am to stay

Or must I go

Is it up to me

Or is it up to you

I guess,

Nothing is up to anyone

It happens when it happens,

Till then behind the curtains

We must arrange our things

When the time comes

When the curtain opens

All will be exposed

And judged

By hundreds of gods

Sitting quietly in the dark

Watching like a hawk

The gods decide

Who was good and did well

Who was good but did not do well

Who was bad yet did well…

40 Years of Prithvi Theater

Unique World

Today may be the day, that will change everything

For me, for you and for everyone else

Be aware, be alert and be open to openings

Look deep into the eyes of new opportunities

Don’t reject anything just because you haven’t seen it

Life is not about recycling old stuff

It is about generating new ideas from that stuff

Or ideas from the newer stuff

Don’t be scared of the new

Every day the dawn is unique

This day has never been in your life before

Every moment of your life has never been around

A bird that just said something;

Has never said it earlier

A leaf that just fell from the tree hasn’t ever done it

Every wave that you see on the river is unique

It has never been exactly the way it is now

Every emotion that is being expressed

Has never been expressed before

Exactly the way it is being done now

Every spoken word is unique

Every moment is unique

Every breath is unique

Every ‘she’ is unique

Every ‘he’ is unique

Everyone has to chart his own unique path

With unique routes

Unique steps

We cannot be anything

But unique

That is the only way, we all are

And always will be