Couldn’t hear you

A little scared, unconfident and unsure

I managed to say,

‘I love you’

You turned away with nothing to say

Making me much more

Scared, unconfident and unsure

Just when I was confident

You bit the corner of your nail

It felt like beginning of a tale

Then you looked at me shyly

And said something rather softly

But confidently…

Till date I curse my heart

For beating so hard

That I couldn’t hear you at all.

I mean…

No I am not in touch with her

I mean regularly, no

Pensive? Who me? Huh

Well, I don’t tell lies

I do think about her

Sometimes, often

I mean on and off

Like when I am not busy in my work

Or not blogging,

Except may be right now

No, not all the time

Are you crazy or something?

Well she is on my mind

When there is nothing else

On my mind, I mean

You know, what I mean.. I hope

That is ridiculous

How can you say that

I am in love!

With her.. I mean

Just because she is on my mind

Don’t confuse things here, ok

Moreover even if I do love her

It is not what you think

I hope you know,

What I mean

Where were you?

Where were you for so long?

Why weren’t you here

With me

I have been so disturbed

Hurt and depressed

I needed you so bad

Needed you to hold my hand

Hold my face

Look in my eyes

Kiss my forehead

Move your fingers in my hair

I needed your shoulder

To rest my head on

Bury my face between your breasts

Yes, I know

In reality

This is just my imagination

But you could at least let me know…

That you are there.. Somewhere

Lamp of my life

Now that you are here

Things are looking up a bit

Seemingly brighter a bit

Perhaps you have added

Few days to my ending game

Fuel to my dying flame

Flame that was about to be

Covered with sheets of darkness

Or blown off by raging stress

Now that you are back

Life of my lamp is revamped

The strength is regained

To quell the darkness’ reign

The happiness beams

And spreads the light again

Don’t leave me

Is it okay to ask,

Don’t leave me again?

You see I am not even with you

You do whatever you want to do

In and around your world

I do not physically figure

You know I am not there

And I know you are not here

I am not intruding into your space or taking your time

Demanding your attention, respect, or love of any kind

I can’t even see, what you are doing

Who is with you or to whom are you talking

Having coffee, watching movies

Or just sharing your stories

I am not snooping

On your emails or your phone

Even then you never promised

Never to leave me again.

In Love With Imagination

You are the one

In my thoughts

My vision

Perhaps, surely

You are a stranger certainly

But have always stayed inside me

Inside my mindscape

On my thought’s page

You may be something unsaid

But you are the poetry of my life

Silent movements of your lips

Are symphonies in my life

With my face on your bosom

I long for the comfort of your dark hair

And inhale the familiar fragrance

A figure emerges in my vision

Perhaps personification

Of a thought,

That has been around

For ever…

I remember

That dark part of the day

Tight grip of hands

But our looks away

Growing warmth and sweat

Hearts that beat together

Were to separate

This had to happen

I was in love with someone

Created by my Imagination

I think…

Questions questions

As long as I was there

I was there.

I was there

You were there

But were you there?

You were there somewhere

But not there

I mean with me there

Yes physically we were there

In the same space together

Within two feet of each other

That felt like a light year far

You couldn’t break

The maze of your thoughts

Yes, you did look at me

Or was it through me

You remained focused

Perhaps on the infinity

Did you see infinity through me?

It felt strange

I shook myself, got up

And walked off

Even after a few paces

I felt whizzing inside my head

I stopped, waited and turned

You still gazed at a distance

Oddly enough you had a smile

Perhaps because I had gone a mile

Gem hunter

Let me look into your eyes

To get the comfort of drowning

Once again

In that deep blue, ocean

Or is it blue deep, ocean

Your flickering eye-lids

Getting confused

Finding my eyes so near

Inches away

My hungry eyes wish to dive in yours

Looking for valuable gems

I need those gems

Transparent gems of promises

Blue gems of love

Yellow gems of friendship

Maroon ones for passion

But my eyes got lost

In the maze of your confused eyes

Burning objects crisscrossed

Confusing me

What were those things?

Why did they not allow me in

Beyond that firewall

I couldn’t find any promise

Or passion

Even friendship

Alas there was no love to be found

I am not a gem collector

I am hungry for them

I need your eyes to say something

Give me a faint hint

A little hope if they could

Something like, “try next time”

Or, “of course it is possible”

“I can’t say it right now”

I feed on such flimsy lies

For the hunger of my heart

For the sake of my survival

For the sake of my sanity

Two Graves

I still remember the question

A question,

Crucial to me

My life depended upon

Your answer to that question

But you turned away

And kept playing with your long hair

Kept looking at your toes…

So,

I waited

For the answer

As my life to flowed

I waited some more

Waited for you to turn towards me

For you to stop biting your nails

Playing with your hair,

I waited for you to stop staring at your toes

And look at me

I desperately waited for your lips to part

And say something…

This eternal wait

Has been, years long

I lived an entire life

In a flash

And still it did not happen

That you would turn towards me

Stop biting your nails

And stop staring at your toes

Now I am not the same

I don’t remember myself

Perhaps this is my new birth

Cycle of life has gone by waiting

For that quiver of your lips

To utter the answer…

Far away under that tree

Covered with a layer of flowers

There seem to be two shadows

Lying quietly side by side

If you notice closely

They are two graves

One, of my question

Another… of your answer