Couldn’t hear you

A little scared, unconfident and unsure

I managed to say,

‘I love you’

You turned away with nothing to say

Making me much more

Scared, unconfident and unsure

Just when I was confident

You bit the corner of your nail

It felt like beginning of a tale

Then you looked at me shyly

And said something rather softly

But confidently…

Till date I curse my heart

For beating so hard

That I couldn’t hear you at all.

I mean…

No I am not in touch with her

I mean regularly, no

Pensive? Who me? Huh

Well, I don’t tell lies

I do think about her

Sometimes, often

I mean on and off

Like when I am not busy in my work

Or not blogging,

Except may be right now

No, not all the time

Are you crazy or something?

Well she is on my mind

When there is nothing else

On my mind, I mean

You know, what I mean.. I hope

That is ridiculous

How can you say that

I am in love!

With her.. I mean

Just because she is on my mind

Don’t confuse things here, ok

Moreover even if I do love her

It is not what you think

I hope you know,

What I mean

Where were you?

Where were you for so long?

Why weren’t you here

With me

I have been so disturbed

Hurt and depressed

I needed you so bad

Needed you to hold my hand

Hold my face

Look in my eyes

Kiss my forehead

Move your fingers in my hair

I needed your shoulder

To rest my head on

Bury my face between your breasts

Yes, I know

In reality

This is just my imagination

But you could at least let me know…

That you are there.. Somewhere

Without You

I can’t say I have problems

Or complains with my life

Even though you are not with me

But yes,

Living surely is not as lively

Since you are not with me…

Remember?

When we walked

We just walked

We walked out

With nowhere to go

Nothing to do

Nowhere to reach

Soon we walked back in

We were each other’s destination

Complete, within each other

Now I need to stop often

Looking for a shoulder

To rest a while

To sob on

Or to, just be

As you did on mine

Remember?

Corners of my eyes

Need to be soaked dry

With a palm

Like I did for you

If you remember

Certainly, life still has its own joys

I do find reasons to smile

But I don’t smile for no reason

Since you are not with me

Two Graves

I still remember the question

A question,

Crucial to me

My life depended upon

Your answer to that question

But you turned away

And kept playing with your long hair

Kept looking at your toes…

So,

I waited

For the answer

As my life to flowed

I waited some more

Waited for you to turn towards me

For you to stop biting your nails

Playing with your hair,

I waited for you to stop staring at your toes

And look at me

I desperately waited for your lips to part

And say something…

This eternal wait

Has been, years long

I lived an entire life

In a flash

And still it did not happen

That you would turn towards me

Stop biting your nails

And stop staring at your toes

Now I am not the same

I don’t remember myself

Perhaps this is my new birth

Cycle of life has gone by waiting

For that quiver of your lips

To utter the answer…

Far away under that tree

Covered with a layer of flowers

There seem to be two shadows

Lying quietly side by side

If you notice closely

They are two graves

One, of my question

Another… of your answer

Life Boat

when i am sailing alone
life is drab struggle for survival

if you look at me from the shore
perhaps i can row with some hope

if you join me on my boat
I may need nothing more

if you smiled sitting opposite at me
it’ll become a flight of fantasy

with your hand on my tired shoulders
life will turn into a space without border

but if you pick up the sail and row with me…

umm, sorry; writer’s block
can’t imagine that far!