Not me..

I know.. I lost you eons ago

Or we lost each other

We took our own paths

No, in fact it was me.. just me

Who decided to go alone

On my own

It was because.. I had a path

I just left

And vanished without even looking back

I left as though I was dried up

Of emotions, sentiments, friendship

True, there were no promises to keep

No dates to seek

But still, just walking out

Without leaving any message

Address or a phone number

It must have been

So shocking for you

So unbelievable even to think

That I could do that

I could ‘be’ that

But I hope you believed it soon enough

That.. that was ‘not‘ me

It just couldn’t be me

It would be best for me

Not to be ‘me’

For you

I mean…

No I am not in touch with her

I mean regularly, no

Pensive? Who me? Huh

Well, I don’t tell lies

I do think about her

Sometimes, often

I mean on and off

Like when I am not busy in my work

Or not blogging,

Except may be right now

No, not all the time

Are you crazy or something?

Well she is on my mind

When there is nothing else

On my mind, I mean

You know, what I mean.. I hope

That is ridiculous

How can you say that

I am in love!

With her.. I mean

Just because she is on my mind

Don’t confuse things here, ok

Moreover even if I do love her

It is not what you think

I hope you know,

What I mean

Where were you?

Where were you for so long?

Why weren’t you here

With me

I have been so disturbed

Hurt and depressed

I needed you so bad

Needed you to hold my hand

Hold my face

Look in my eyes

Kiss my forehead

Move your fingers in my hair

I needed your shoulder

To rest my head on

Bury my face between your breasts

Yes, I know

In reality

This is just my imagination

But you could at least let me know…

That you are there.. Somewhere

World and her story

Time is passing

So is life

Cross roads, hairpin bends,

Steep climbs, landmarks

All falling behind

I can see a path winding away

Far in the distance

Dissolving into nothingness

One end of which is under my feet

The other seems to be

At the end of my vision

After that… nothing

After that… nothing,

Would be wrong to say

After all, the rest of the world

Has to be there

Somewhere,

Beyond the end of the path

Beyond the end of my vision

Yes, the world made by man

Will cease to exist

But world untouched by man

Will still be there

In its full glory

Narrating it’s amazing story.

I will pass away

You too will be gone

Our sorrows would be wiped off

Smiles will fade leaving no mark

Storytellers will not be around

Listeners also would have passed

But the world will go on

Narrating her story on her own.

Alexander, Babar, Genghis Khan

Christ, Kabir and Krshn

Winners and vanquished

Killers and the killed

All dumped randomly

Unceremoniously

In the dark silence

Of a little old box

Not moving

Not speaking

Yet wearing the crown

With a bloody sword in hand

Not knowing their story is done.

Beauty of incompleteness

Been toying with an idea
To find a world, where…
No no, you don’t worry
Its not about your broken promises
Incomplete plans
Half hearted friendship…
I will carry them with me
To another world
I am not even sure about
After all
Is it necessary
That every wish
Of everyone
Should be fulfilled?
Incompleteness too can be beautiful
In fact it is,
Beautiful
Have you seen flowering buds?
Aren’t they better looking
Than fully bloomed flowers
What about
The new moon
Half a moon
Half naked woman or a man
Half open lips
Half shut eyes
Romance of a half nod
Committing neither yes, nor no
I wish to discover such a world
Where forgotten promises
Broken relationships
Unfulfilled dreams
Friendships left half way
In fact,
Incompleteness itself
Is celebrated,
Respected,
Even if halfheartedly…

Non-existent existence

I was a just a point

A dot

In a state of singularity

I had no face, no body

No heart or brain

No identity or name

But that was real ‘me’

Entirely me

It was blissful being that dot…

Now there are trillions of dots inside me

In my body, in my brain

All these dots interact with each other

And with other dots in the universe

Getting entangled

They fight and cry

Love, hate, even rejoice

Sometimes outside dots order my dots around

In another moment my dots want to run the world

Want to own the world…

I miss that early state

That one dot was much more sacred

Than all these trillions put together

My originality is lost due to multiplicity

I wish to return to my original state

Non-existent existence

With Me

Thinking,

Thinking of you

Today,

Today also, like yesterday

Like the last week, month or the year

I don’t

No, I don’t remember living a moment

Without you

Without the moments spent with you

I don’t ever

Ever remember being

Being deprived of your memories

Thoughts or dreams

You are,

You surely are always with me

But only,

The only thought that pricks me

Whether ‘me’ too is with you…

Like you are,

You are with me right now.

Let me be me

Nothing raises waves now,

Inside me, I mean

Something surely seems to have quieted

Don’t know how, but

Waves are not high and violent

They… the waves

I noticed

Had been getting smaller and weaker

Until… one day

They couldn’t be noticed

Now I don’t see any movement

Even in the far off horizon

My stormy ocean now has stabilized

The surface has become flat

It looks like…

Like a desert of water

Without dunes

No grass, shrubs or trees

Yet, one in a while

A wave of breeze arrives

And tries to shake the ocean

Wake it, make it talk, play

Excite it

Or at least look excited

Breeze wants ocean to make waves

Become same again

But… after trying for a while

She tires herself

Feeling helpless

She turns away

She doesn’t like my ocean’s disinterest

But the ocean doesn’t feel bad

That she is feeling bad

He gets thoughtful though

Breeze is wind, air

She can move,

Travel the world over

She could find another ocean

May be…

Shutting his eyes he thinks

Let me be me

Sea shows its strength just before the monsoon sets in.
Marine Drive, Mumbai