A little scared, unconfident and unsure
I managed to say,
‘I love you’
You turned away with nothing to say
Making me much more
Scared, unconfident and unsure
Just when I was confident
You bit the corner of your nail
It felt like beginning of a tale
Then you looked at me shyly
And said something rather softly
But confidently…
Till date I curse my heart
For beating so hard
That I couldn’t hear you at all.
No I am not in touch with her
I mean regularly, no
Pensive? Who me? Huh
Well, I don’t tell lies
I do think about her
Sometimes, often
I mean on and off
Like when I am not busy in my work
Or not blogging,
Except may be right now
No, not all the time
Are you crazy or something?
Well she is on my mind
When there is nothing else
On my mind, I mean
You know, what I mean.. I hope
That is ridiculous
How can you say that
I am in love!
With her.. I mean
Just because she is on my mind
Don’t confuse things here, ok
Moreover even if I do love her
It is not what you think
I hope you know,
What I mean
Where were you for so long?
Why weren’t you here
With me
I have been so disturbed
Hurt and depressed
I needed you so bad
Needed you to hold my hand
Hold my face
Look in my eyes
Kiss my forehead
Move your fingers in my hair
I needed your shoulder
To rest my head on
Bury my face between your breasts
Yes, I know
In reality
This is just my imagination
But you could at least let me know…
That you are there.. Somewhere
Now that you are here
Things are looking up a bit
Seemingly brighter a bit
Perhaps you have added
Few days to my ending game
Fuel to my dying flame
Flame that was about to be
Covered with sheets of darkness
Or blown off by raging stress
Now that you are back
Life of my lamp is revamped
The strength is regained
To quell the darkness’ reign
The happiness beams
And spreads the light again
Is it okay to ask,
Don’t leave me again?
You see I am not even with you
You do whatever you want to do
In and around your world
I do not physically figure
You know I am not there
And I know you are not here
I am not intruding into your space or taking your time
Demanding your attention, respect, or love of any kind
I can’t even see, what you are doing
Who is with you or to whom are you talking
Having coffee, watching movies
Or just sharing your stories
I am not snooping
On your emails or your phone
Even then you never promised
Never to leave me again.
Time is passing
So is life
Cross roads, hairpin bends,
Steep climbs, landmarks
All falling behind
I can see a path winding away
Far in the distance
Dissolving into nothingness
One end of which is under my feet
The other seems to be
At the end of my vision
After that… nothing
After that… nothing,
Would be wrong to say
After all, the rest of the world
Has to be there
Somewhere,
Beyond the end of the path
Beyond the end of my vision
Yes, the world made by man
Will cease to exist
But world untouched by man
Will still be there
In its full glory
Narrating it’s amazing story.
I will pass away
You too will be gone
Our sorrows would be wiped off
Smiles will fade leaving no mark
Storytellers will not be around
Listeners also would have passed
But the world will go on
Narrating her story on her own.
Alexander, Babar, Genghis Khan
Christ, Kabir and Krshn
Winners and vanquished
Killers and the killed
All dumped randomly
Unceremoniously
In the dark silence
Of a little old box
Not moving
Not speaking
Yet wearing the crown
With a bloody sword in hand
Not knowing their story is done.
